The continuing saga of the Goddess Subway

And so the story was told............. the tale of the Innocent who was seduced by the Goddess Subway in the Halls of the mighty NEC ............ at first the tale was told only to the select few in the "House of Capper", some of whom had already tasted the fruits of the Goddess, others who had heard whispered tales of the glorious offerings but had never dared venture into the pastures of green & gold ............. the Innocent ventured further forays over time into the Chambers of the Goddess, finding that in each one his experience was enhanced, that the guides were always willing to help, that the offerings were never of an inferior nature, yea, even that he was never cuckolded for bringing forth other "Subway Virgins" to be offered at the alters of plenty .................

There was, however, the time of "the wrongdoing" where the enhancement known to the Acolytes as "Mayo" was wrongfully placed on the offering of the Innocents Bride, this would have been as poison to the bride, & would have called forth demons from the belly of the bride..............but on exclaiming that this was so, & recoiling in horror, preparing to flee from the alter with eyes wide & trepidation & fear in her heart, the guides circled the affected offering & removed it from sight, hurling it into the burning pit of emptiness, the ever open maw of ........... "waste" ?!?!?!?!? .............. the guides grovelled & begged forgiveness ........... they rushed hither & thither, preparing a new feast, this time to the exact requirements of the bride of the Innocent, I say to thee that NOTHING was too much trouble for them, they wailed & cried & gnashed their teeth & flogged themselves till the bride accepted the offering & was seated happily in the plastic seat of joy, devouring the offering of the Goddess ............ & all was well with the world ............

In time, another heard of the story, although this person was wily in the ways of "The Web", & was known in some quarters as "The Mistress of the Intranet", she set up what was known to some as "The Blog Site" !!!!!! This was a ruse to lure the Innocent into telling his tale, & it is feared that she was an unknowing slave, that she was a pawn of the Goddess & Lo, the Innocent was ensnared in the ways of the Web & did tell his tale to the Mistress, crying of the joy of the offerings of the Goddess, telling of the splendiferousness of the offerings, of the portions & the goodness, of the smiles of the guides ................. & the Mistress heard the tale. She listened to the Innocent & took his words & did transfer them to "The Blog Site" .............. & others read of the Goddess, as she had intended when she ensnared the Mistress as her unknowing Pawn ............... the others read & some did gaze in wonder & thought "My Grief, what was in the offering to make the Innocent rant so?" .................. others were afraid & shunned the Innocent, thinking that his mind had been turned...........but the Innocent took the challenge & preached the words of the Goddess to others, he told them of the Blog Site & they read his words................& one in particular did read the words & sat in awe & amazement, she did "The Guffaw" & "The splurting of the tea over the papers" .................... & this was a woman known as ........... the "Facilitator of Deeds" ......... she read the words & from that moment set on a quest, aye, a quest !!! But no ordinary quest was this, no quest to seek out the altars of goodness or any such mundanity (may the Goddess forgive my words, I meant not to offend)......... no, this was a quest of the Highest Order ............ for this was a Quest to find the Goddess herself & to tell her of the words of the Innocent !?!?!?!? Aye, you read right .......... to speak to the Goddess !!!!!!!!!!!!

The Facilitator went to the engine of magical deeds at the Terminal of Knowledge & did ask to consult with the Oracle known to many simply as "Google"...........she explained her needs & the Oracle thought about this for a while...............he looked deep within himself & wondered at the audacity of the Facilitator........... he contemplated & wrestled with his conscience, he looked into his soul & asked himself if he could face the Goddess, if he could stand the wrath of her if she took umbrage at his sharing of the secret place .................. after 0.04 seconds the Oracle offered 29,300,000 choices to the Facilitator & decided to let her figure it out for herself !?!?!? "What the Heck, it's not my problem" he thought !?!?!? The Facilitator looked at the Terminal of Knowledge & cried at the multitude of choice that she had been offered ............ she scrolled, debated, searched & questioned & at last chose the first step on the long road to the Goddess .......... she took the words of the Innocent &, in the way of the Web Mistress, did a magical & mystical rite, lighting candles & chanting, & in a frenzy, performed the Ceremony of "Cut & Paste" !?!?!?!? The Missive was sent !!!!!!! It flew through the Ether in a flurry of abandon, traversing the world & alighting in a far off realm, a dreamland of exotic wonder & strange people .......... & lo........ they knew not what to do with the tale, they called the Rite of "Boardroom meeting" & recalled their leaders from whence they had been relaxing ........... a panic ensued & they decided to erase the tale from their midst & elected the elder who had the knowledge of "forward" & he sent the missive back to the land from whence it came........... but not to it's originator ........ nay..........

……… by chance it alighted in the High Cave of the Goddess & was ultimately read by the High Priestess known simply as "Hannah" ................ she had seen nothing of this nature before & decided that her only choice was to consult with the Goddess herself ......... she went deep into the cave & fasted, praying for the Goddess to respond, putting herself through deeds unknown to the common folk in order that she reach the Goddess & put the tale to her ............. & so it happened, the Goddess herself consented to know of the tale & bade the Priestess recount it to her ............ & she did sigh in deep delight to know that her offerings were bringing pleasure to millions of folk throughout the world of mortals, that the delights that she conjured in her dreams were as Manna from the skies .............. & she instructed the Priestess Hannah to offer more delights to the Innocent, yea & also to the Facilitator, for it was she who brought the tale to the expanded world of man, & the offerings she presented were even of a discounted nature, such is the nature of the Goddess for she is truly of a higher realm than mortals could ever dream of achieving & her bountiful nature knows no bounds ............... the Priestess took it upon herself that she had to inform more people of the tale of the Innocent & scried deep into the font of knowledge, over days gleaning the wisdom of the overseas elder & learning the knowledge of "forward" ............. & she did send the tale, but lo, the tale journeyed only a short distance this time, alighting in the Land of the Dam of Amster, where the all knowing elders in the cave of the Goddess instructed their Minions to scribe the words of the Innocent onto great stone tablets, where they were to be read by "the readership of the subscription" .............

And so the tale spread through the world of man ............... & the Goddess was happy, which is as it should be ................... & all was well with the world ........................

We are truly unworthy of the favours of the Goddess & bow to her in her infinite wisdom & mercy ....................